I am Over-Hung

So , sometimes in the country things can get boring. The last few days have been rainy and cold. Last night we actually made a fire in our wood stove. It's April, people, almost May. Why am I having to make a fire?
It's nasty outside and I have a toothache. I am out of painkillers and I don't want to ask for more because I am scared they will think I am an addict, so I persevere on painfully. All of this combined made for the perfect ingredient for some good old fashion depression. I had the yucks, the blahs, the blues.
I am still nursing my 5 month old daughter and have been religiously pumping milk from the day she was born. This all resulted in a surplus of the liquid gold, frozen in my freezer. Why not, I asked myself, take a night off from nursing and have a few glasses of wine. I used to drink a lot, and enjoyed doing so, but i got tired of waking up in the morning wondering if my husband was going to be mad at me from something I did or said while drinking, so I just up and quit. Alcohol is not my friend. But last night I tried to reconcile with my old friend. The weather was perfect and so was the wine.
I bought myself one of those little 4-packs of bottles, thinking that I would drink 2 and save the other 2 for later. I ran a warm bath, lit some candles (because the light bulbs are out in my bathroom) and grabbed a book. It was truly a night for relaxation and enjoyment of the great indoors.
The bath water was hot and turned my skin red, and the wine was tasty and turned my lips blue. When I got out of the bath both bottles were gone and my blood pressure was nearing stroke levels. With my head spinning I stepped out of the bath and lay down on the bathroom floor for about an hour because it was cool but also because I couldn't get up.
I traipsed into my bedroom with bits of dirt from my bathroom floor stuck to my face, only to find that my husband had already gone to sleep. How exciting! I was going to have another glass!
After that I am not really sure what happened. I know that I was listening to music because all the songs on my IPOD were different. I also know I started planning my wedding, because hubby and I never had one and I was aparently making notes on menus and seating arrangements.
The next thing I knew I woke up at 4 am and my daughter was in her room crying for her nightime nursing. I walked bleary-eyed to the sink and fixed up a bottle and then gave it to her as I tried to figure out what had happened. All 4 bottles were gone!
I woke again at about 8 am and imeaditally wanted to yarf. I remember now why I don't drink. So here I am, still feeling like I want to climb under my bed and die. It does not help that the weather is no better, or maybe it does. I don't know that I could handle the sunlight at this point without hissing like a vampire and hiding in the closet.